I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you didnt know i had herpes?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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