Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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