i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize