At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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