OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
