My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
please don't ironically join a cult
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