I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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