the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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