I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
