I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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