i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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