Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
