from now on my penis is your penis
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
