I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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