i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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