butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
