It's like a parade of train wrecks.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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