he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
