woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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