I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
