The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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