it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
