Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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