I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
