Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize