OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
