I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Oh god it's open bar.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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