Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
