And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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