ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Randomize
