we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
