garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
