Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I came so hard my ears popped.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
