yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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