I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
