I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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