anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
