it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You made out with two different species that night
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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