Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
