we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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