How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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