This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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