I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
