We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
