Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
