i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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