What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
