She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
