Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
