He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
