Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
