Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
