Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
