How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Swine flu is the new snow day.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize